I'm Getting Married!

In just a few days, I'm off to Vancouver, British Columbia to get married! To a MAN! We've been planning it for months and it doesn't seem real. We've been together for 7 years, we own a home together, we're totally committed to each other, and there's a great deal of love and respect. Yet, here I am on practically the eve of my wedding day and I have the jitters. Why is that?

Marriage, even if it has no legal significance in most of the US, is a serious commitment. I will be taking a vow in front of God and Man that I will love, honor, and (not) obey this man for the rest of my life. I know our relationship will change...it will become deeper, more meaningful in ways that I can't predict. Maybe that's it - marriage will change things and I don't know how. I only know that this is what I want and I'm thrilled.

Several of our friends are honoring us by joining us in Canada. My wonderful sister and and niece and brother in law will also be there. My parents are not coming, but that's another post.

We'll honeymoon for a few days in Whistler. My beloved has NOT planned some awful fishing trip in Nova Scotia! I would have to call it all off if he did! I packed evening clothes!

Lane Hudson has Balls of Steel

I love Lane Hudson. He's got a pair of brass ones. In case you don't know who he is, Lane broke the Mark Foley story by posting emails from Foley to teenage interns on stopsexpreditors.blogspot.com. It cost Lane his position with HRC, but it also played an important role in the 2006 elections. Lane has a well-written blog called News for the Left and he is clearly not afraid of rocking boats.

Lane recently filed a complaint with the Federal Election Commission over Republican golden boy and great white hope Fred Thompson. It seems that the Hollywood actor, who's character in No Way Out reminded the world that homos are going to hell, has been violating federal election law by raising huge sums of money, opening a campaign headquarters, and spending advertising dollars, all while merely exploring the possibility of a candidacy for the Presidency. This, according to Lane, violates the testing the waters provisions of election law.

A Republican flaunting the law? Who would have thought. Lane Hudson proves that one person can make a difference. Plus, he's a College of Charleston boy, like me. Pretty cute, too. Give 'em hell.

Historic (?) Debate (?)

I watched the gay debate last night, sponsored by HRC and Logo, Funny how there was an HRC-sponsored presidential debate on C-Span 4 years ago, yet last night's was "historic" and the "first ever." Maybe it was historic because it was the first with gay celebrities in the audience. That Neal Patrick Harris sure is cute. Love Jane Lynch. Of course it was a debate in name only since the candidates appeared by themselves. I'll call it the gay interview forum.

In any case, it was a fascinating two hours. Joe.My.God and Pam's House Blend, among others, have great re-caps, but I'd like to share my thoughts, too.

My pick for the winner (and there always has to be a clear cut winner, it seems) is Dennis Kucinich. He totally rocks. And I never say something "rocks." But Dennis does. I know, I know, he's kind of hippy-dippy, feel-the-love, but I think that's great. He's the only candidate who wants to share his love with us!

Kucinich is completely on board with gay equality without compromise, and he gets why our issues are important to America. I really believe that he is a very mainstream candidate who's been unfairly branded as an extreme left liberal. He looked good, he sounded good, he was an inspiration.

None of the other candidates could explain why they claim to support full equality for gay Americans, but don't support marriage. They can't explain it because it's indefensible. It's a purely politically expedient position and they know it, so all they can do is evade, and we saw some world-class evasion last night.

First up was Obama. I generally like Obama, but he got defensive ("Oh come on" when Jonathan Capeheart accurately called his position on marriage "old school"), he never answered questions about marriage, and he seemed a bit rattled by it all. Not his most presidential moment.

Edwards looked good, as always. How does he keep that stomach so flat? How does he have so much hair at 54? But, while he's the winner in the looks department, he just seems insincere and overly-polished. I'm glad he finally dropped that I'm-against-gay-marriage-because-I'm-Baptist bullshit, but then why can't he support full marriage equality? Because of politics, but he can't say that, so more evasive tactics. I'm not impressed.

Kucinich came next and was like a breath of fresh air. Love him. Have we actually found an honest politician? He and that hot wife of his would be a blast as first couple.

Then came Gravel, and he also supports full marriage equality, ENDA, hate crimes legislation, the whole package. What a guy. He's kind of a crazy old coot, and rambled on about nuclear warheads or something, and talked a lot about his time in the Alaska legislature which must have been when Eisenhower was president, but I bet he'd be a fun guy to have a beer with.

Richardson was on next, and he was what my mother would call a grand and glorious mess. Did he really mean to say that homosexuality is a choice? He apologized for the maricon comment, but got defensive and apparently pissed that he wasn't being praised for his record. I guess if a presidential candidate calls someone a faggot, we're just supposed to get over it. I mean golly, it was on Imus. It was just guy talk. Whatever. The rest of his time was rambling and pissy. He was the least presidential of them all.

Then came the star of the show: Hillary. I've got to hand it to her, she was very presidential. She looks good, she sounds in control. Melissa Ethridge really pressed her with questions about former President Clinton's disappointing record on gay rights. I don't think Hillary recovered very well, but what can she say? The record is what it is.

I really didn't like Hillary's comments supporting states rights in the marriage debate. Does she really believe it's right for individual states to decide this important civil rights issue? Does she really believe its right for a state like Texas to affirmatively deny equality under the law for it's gay citizens while Massachusetts values all its citizens? I absolutely disagree with her on that and don't believe she understands this issue at all. I think she wants to find a way to avoid it.

Just what did Hillary mean by her opposition to "section 3 of DOMA?" The other candidates support full repeal of that reprehensible law. Is there part of DOMA she can live with? Nobody asked.

I also absolutely disagree with her lame defense of Don't Ask/Don't Tell as a step in the right direction at the time. I was in the Army when that mess was implemented and I could tell her that things got worse, not better for gay soldiers. DA/DT is, was, and always will be a bankrupt policy made into a bankrupt law.

So, on balance, I was not impressed with Hillary. I know the gays love her, but this gay loves Kucinich.

GOP Closet Opened Again

According to DailyKos, yet another Republican leader has been yanked out of the closet. This time it was one Glenn Murphy, the newly-elected head of the Young Republicans National Federation. Although he has not been arrested and has not been charged with any crime, he allegedly performed oral sex on another man while that other man was asleep. Murphy has resigned his position with the Young Republicans.

How many closeted Republicans have to be outed before people realize that the GOP positions on marriage equality, ENDA, Don't Ask/Don't Tell and hate crimes are nothing but hypocritical pandering to fear and ignorance?

There's been an amazing change in public perceptions of gay issues in America over the past few years. All the Democratic presidential candidates have come out in favor of repealing Don't Ask/Don't Tell and all support some form of legal recognition of gay relationships, a position that was considered radical at the beginning of this century. The Republicans, seemingly unaware of the changes taking place in this country, continue to pander to the small, vocal minority who believe in ignorant myths and wives tales about the evil homos, and have been absolutely unable to turn gays into wedge issues this year. The gay Republicans remain cowering in their closets, afraid of each other. America doesn't care anymore.

The Republican Party is the party of the past.

It's The Hap Happiest Day of the Year!

It's National Underwear Day! It's that marvelous day when joy returns to the streets of Manhattan, and the rest of us are reminded yet again why we really should have moved to New York right after college when dad would helped out with cash and we weren't invested in a stalled, stultifying "career" and didn't have a mortgage and a car payment and...breathe...OK, back to National Underwear Day.

OK, Maybe I'm Not Bear-Exclusive

After yesterday's brush with bear lust, I felt the need to post a pic of super-cute Brett Chukerman from Eating Out II, Sloppy Seconds. In fact, he's so cute, I think I'll post another. Here you go.



Ahhh. Variety.

Are Bears Part of the Aging Process?

Thursday is my birthday and I decided to give myself a blog. I mean, everybody's doing it, right? Go ahead and scoff. Tell me that starting a blog is like so very 2005, but hey, this is Texas, not New York. We're a little behind.

So, today I turn 47 years old. FORTY-SEVEN FRIGGIN' YEARS OLD! How on earth did that happen? I cannot possibly be turning 50 in just 3 years. I'm sorry, God, but I don't do fifty. I'll just have to start reversing, that's all.

The scariest part is, I think I'm becoming a bear. I don't really look like one, although I could stand to take off a few pounds, but I'm finding myself incredibly attracted to big, hairy guys, and I never have been before. I've always been turned on by short, compact guys, like my cute boyfriend.

Take today. I was in Whole Foods. The cutest guys on earth work at Whole Foods. If my boyfriend ever leaves me, I am totally getting a job there. So, anyway, there I was, trying to figure out which line to get in, the one with the muscle-twink with the bee-stung biceps poking through his girls' size 6X t-shirt, or the line with the hairy, shaggy 40-something guy, with chest hair sticking up over his crew neck, and the beginnings of a pot. Without even thinking, I went for shaggy dude. 10 years ago, I would have waited in line behind 10 double-stroller soccer moms just to get the chance to cast a meaningful glance at the muscle twink, who would have ignored me. Today, it was all about the big guy with a full salt and pepper beard, thick, wavy hair that hasn't seen a precision cut in years, and love handles. Love handles! I was totally turned on by him. Totally.

[Caveat in case my boyfriend ever reads this. I am not cruising at Whole Foods! But, if you're going to stand in line at the grocery store, you might as well pick the one with the best eye candy, right?]