Some of Rick Santorum's Best Friends Are Blah People

The other day, Rick Santorum was addressing a group of Republicans in Iowa about Medicaid and said the following:

”I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money. I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money and provide for themselves and their families.”

Nobody was talking about black people; Santorum just brought them up, kind of like how he brought up man-on-dog sex when nobody was talking about dogs or sex.  Santorum heard "Medicaid" and his mind immediately went to black people.  I guess nobody ever told Ricky that most government assistance recipients are white. 

In his defense, there is some controversy about whether or not he actually said the words "black people."  Apparently the audio is a bit difficult.  Hear it for yourself and decide:

  

Ricky went on John King's show on CNN today and was asked about his comments.  His response?  He didn't say "black people," he said "blah people."  Here's his quote:

“I’ve looked at that quote, in fact I looked at the video.  In fact, I’m pretty confident I didn’t say black. What I think — I started to say a word and then sort of changed and it sort of — blah — mumbled it and sort of changed my thought.”

Of course!  That makes perfect sense!  He doesn't want to make black people's lives better, he wants to make blah people's lives better!  How could we ever have doubted him! 

You can't make this shit up. 

As a white man, I want all my readers to know that I have lots of blah friends.  In fact, I've dated blah guys.  I love the blahs!  Blah is beautiful!  Blah power!  But we all know that the last thing blah people need is Medicare, or any other welfare hand-out.