SmashCaps: Do It

The Movie Star has arrived.

I'm baaaaack and ready to SmashCap.  This is last Monday's episode.  Sorry about the delay.

We open in the rehearsal room where Julia is tired of all the flirting going on between Tom and Sam the straight acting gay so she tells them she's made a dinner reservation for them so they can just go ahead and go on a date, already.  They try to argue with her but she says "Do It!" and she means it.  Will they finally do it?

Meanwhile, the new Movie Star, Rebecca Duvall (Uma Thurman) has finally arrived from Cuba and rehearsal starts with "I Want to Be Your Star." Rebecca is terrible.  She can't sing.  Gosh, I couldn't see that one coming a mile away or anything.

Derek, Eileen, Julia, and Tom have panicked meetings about Rebecca's inability to sing and Derek convinces the gang to bring back Ivy as the understudy.  "The Cartright girl is too green."  I'm not sure how it fixes the Rebecca-can't-sing-problem, but it gets Ivy back in the game.  So, Ivy reappears at rehearsal and Karen is nervous.  It's never announced that Ivy's the new understudy or anything, that's just left hanging.  Ivy tries to buddy-up with Karen and they sort of bond over Rebecca's bad singing.  Ivy's got something up her sleeve.

Derek is Stunned by his vision of Karen as Marilyn.  

Derek calls Karen over to talk and he has another vision of her as Marilyn.  For some reason, the Marilyn vision sings "Our Day Will Come" in the style of Katharine McPhee with a blonde wig and a tight dress.  Derek is thunderstruck by this hackitude vision of Marilyn perfection.

Cut to Raza Jaffrey sitting on a park bench in the rain talking to Karen on the phone, lying about his whereabouts.  Did he get fired?  Did he quit?  Whassup with Raza?  BTW, he's fully dressed.  Since it's raining, swimwear would be appropriate, but do you think they listen to me?  Do you realize how long it's been since he's appeared shirtless in this show?  At least two episodes!

Julia has an uncomfortable meeting with the wasted Brian d'Arcy James who's still royally pissed that she's a lyin' cheatin' whore.  Sullen son is now failing calculus, as if we give a shit.  Julia and Brian meet with the school principal and Brian tries to maintain some dignity by not airing all the family laundry, but Julia blurts out that they're separated because she cheated on him.  Later, they have a meeting with sullen son and promise that he can meet Rebecca Duvall if he gets a B+ in calculus.  What does this have to do with Broadway?  Nothing.  Do we care about this storyline?  No.  Moving on.

Rebecca's agent is hanging around and Ellis, the conniving - but straight! - assistant is flirting with him.  You may remember that Ellis fucked the agent a couple of episodes ago, even though he's straight, just so he could get a leg up (pun intended) with Eileen and snag a meeting with Rebecca.  Just go with it.  The agent is smitten with the little prick for some reason.  The agent, by the way, is a totally cute ginger played by Tony nominee Sean Dugan.  In real life, he wouldn't give the time of day to conniving little shitheads like Ellis, but this isn't real life.

Totally cute Tony Nominee Sean Dugan calling his agent to get him a better gig.

Suddenly a hot bad boy bursts into the rehearsal room looking for Rebecca!  Drama!  Rebecca yells at him to get out but he won't.  Some chorus boys restrain him and slip their numbers into his jeans and Eileen steps up with mace and tells him to leave or she'll blind him.  She's working a mini skirt and boots like she just  stepped out of Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill, and I mean that in a good way.  Will we see more of the hot bad boy next week or was this just a one-time thing?

Karen decides to go by Raza's office and some other guy is in there!  It turns out Raza didn't get promoted to press secretary after all.  Apparently, he's been demoted to a cubicle job and Karen catches him chatting with Hot Iranian Girl.

Cube dwellers Raza and Hot Iranian Girl.

Karen's all hurt and stuff and Raza's clearly tired of her shit.  Rebecca has invited the gang to a free screening of her new movie Casual Friday 2, so Karen invites Raza to come along in a desperate attempt to recapture the magic.  He says he will, but you know he won't.  Hot Iranian Girl is moving to Bollywood, if you get my drift.  

Rebecca's cute ginger agent invites Ellis to the screening but he overhears Ellis talking on the phone to someone (maybe his hot girlfriend?) calling him a looser.  Keep in mind that this is an assistant calling a major movie star's agent a looser.  Agent tells Ellis to fuck off, or words to that effect.  Hopefully, he'll use his clout to get Ellis fired.

Surprise!  Raza stands Karen up at the screening.  Gee, I couldn't see that one coming a mile away.  Instead, he goes to a chic bar for drinks with - guess who? - Hot Iranian Girl.  Ivy takes Karen to the theater bar for a drink and she's a total bitch about Karen getting stood up.  "Trouble in paradise?"  "If you're not comforting him, someone else is."  Karen storms off.  I love Ivy.

BTW, the movie theater appears to be Grand Central Station.  Seriously.

Tom is about to suffer a massive case of blue balls. 

Tom and Sam the straight acting gay have their date and end up at Tom's place, sipping cocktails.  Tom kisses Sam rather chastely and Sam says "whoa, I like to take it slow." It was one closed-mouth kiss.  From Sam's reaction, you'd think Tom dropped his pants, bent over and handed him the lube.  It turns out that Sam is an old fashioned guy who goes to church and feels that sex is holy.  He kisses Tom again teasingly and leaves.  Tom rubs one out.  OK, that didn't happen on screen, but it's a safe assumption.

Rebecca calls a meeting with Eileen, Derek, Tom, and Julia to discuss her latest suggestions for the show.  She's been a total pain in the ass the entire episode, asking for more dramatic scenes and less music.  But, just when you think she's going to ruin the musical, she comes up with sensible suggestions like lowering the keys and hiring a vocal coach.  Maybe she's going to work out after all.

Eileen has drinks with her hot Rough Trade bartender boyfriend.  She tells him she's had a PI investigate him and discovered some mob connections or something.  He's not pissed in the slightest, instead he probes her psyche and gets her to admit her fears.  Rough Trade is a sensitive guy.  

There's a new number about the Actors Studio and Rebecca nails it.  The entire episode has been about her inability to sing, yet she's amazing in this last number.  Ivy and Karen are pissed.

The previously-untalented Rebecca discovers her amazing singing voice.  

This episode was called The Movie Star.

The End.