SmashCaps: Smash Goes to Bollywood!

This week's episode is supposedly all about Movie Star Rebecca Duvall and her new found fascination with Karen Cartwright but it's really all about Bollywood!

It all begins with Karen arriving early to the rehearsal space for a secret meeting with Derek in which he tells her she'd be a "brilliant" Marilyn.  He knows this because he's had visions of her as Katharine McPhee with a blonde wig Marilyn.  Derek really needs to take a break from Bombshell and find a nice rest home somewhere.

Naturally, Ellis the conniving - but straight! - assistant and Ivy both see Karen and Derek whispering and they start plotting together.  I wish Ivy wouldn't connive with Ellis, but what can you do when it's in the script?  Ellis tells Rebecca's agent, super-cute Tony Nominee Sean Dugan, about the whispering.  This is the same super-cute agent Ellis literally screwed over last week, so he's in no mood for Ellis' shit, but Ellis says he needs to talk to him "seriously," and he relents.  Doesn't take much with the agent.

Rebecca the movie star stops Karen as she's leaving rehearsal and says "Hey, wanna go out?"  "Um, sure, OK."  So, Karen goes out with Rebecca the movie star and the paps snap their pics at all the hot spots. Rebecca tells Sean Dugan "I want to check out the competition," meaning Karen since she's such an amazing singer and Derek was whispering to her.  This is all the explanation we get as to why Rebecca is treating Karen like her new best friend.  Just go with it.

Rebecca takes Karen to a super-chic night spot where some band that is either fake-famous or famous in real life and I've never heard of them, is playing.  Rebecca says "Hey Karen, wanna stand in?" and, with no rehearsal, Karen takes the mike and performs a generic pop song flawlessly with this band that has never played for her before this moment.  The entire sophisticated New York nightclub crowd is transfixed by Karen's brilliance.  Rebecca tells Karen "You're a star!"  She gives Karen lots of cast-off expensive clothes.

Rebecca is enraptured by Karen's star quality.  Totally cute Sean Dugan isn't so sure.

Raza Jaffrey, fully dressed, meets Hot Iranian Girl at a diner, not the world-famous WestWay.  HIG shows him her iPad with Karen's picture on Page Six.  Raza is pissed for some unexplained reason.  HIG is stirring the pot and working Raza's shit.  HIG is my hero.

Meanwhile, at Julia's arena-size New York home, sullen son is missing!!!  Can't really blame him for splitting.  He's probably off taping a Sean Cody scene, or he would be if I were writing for this show.  Julia and the wasted Brian d'Arcy James find him, he comes home, they have dinner and a good laugh.  That's the end of the runaway drama.  Obvs, Brian is going to reconcile with Julia, as if we care.

BEST MOMENT OF SMASH SO FAR COMING UP!!!

Uma Thurman, Sean Dugan and a couple of my ex-boyfriends in the Bollywood number. 

Raza and Karen have dinner with Rebecca in an Indian restaurant with flatscreens showing Bollywood movies. Pay attention to the flatscreens.  Rebecca arrives late and mentions like 10 times that she has a peanut allergy and she's afraid there might be peanuts in Indian food.  This peanut allergy thing has already been mentioned several times.  We get it.  Somebody's going to slip her some peanuts.  Sublety, thy name is not Smash.  Raza acts all culturally offended at the idea that there might be peanuts in Indian food, but I kind of think there are.  Anyway, Rebecca says some wildly inappropriate things about Karen and Raza's relationship that nobody in her position would actually say in real life.  Raza gets pissed and Karen stares off at the flatscreens like she's in a trance.  Remember how I told you to pay attention to the flatscreens?  Suddenly, we're transported into a full-out Bollywood song and dance number starring Raza Jaffrey!  The star of Bollywood Dreams himself!  Why hasn't he been singing and dancing in every episode?  Shirtless?  I swoon before my next husband (don't tell my current husband).  Everybody in Smash is in the extravaganza which is over the top and worth every moment I've spent watching this show.  And here it is!  





Next week, Raza auditions for a revival of Oh! Calcutta!  Or he would if I were writing for this show.

After that, who cares what else happens, right?  But your loyal scribe remains on the job.  Next up, Tom and Julia write a new song called "Second Hand White Baby Grand" which is all about how Marilyn's mother was a mean bitch or something.  Rebecca thinks Karen should sing it because Karen's such a Stah!  Ellis and Ivy connive to get Karen to leave rehearsal early.  Don't worry about the details, just understand that no chorus girl in her right mind would leave under those circumstances, especially when she's about to do her big solo.  But she does so Ivy gets to sing it.  Naturally, she nails it because she's Megan Hilty and she's a Real Star.  As she sings, we see a love making montage featuring Eileen and Rough Trade between the sheets.  We don't actually get to see them make Hot Rough Trade Monkey Love but we would if I were writing for this show.  Eileen looks mighty satisfied and Rough Trade looks mighty hot.  We also see Tom and Sam the straight acting gay lean over a bed and exchange a brief, closed mouth kiss.  I think we're supposed to assume that Sam has decided that he's waited long enough to make Holy Love to Tom.  Next week, we'll see the whole humptastic Man Love scene, or we would if I were writing for this show.

This episode was called Publicity because of all the paps snapping pics of Karen and Rebecca, but it should have been called Smash Goes to Bollywood!

The End.