SmashCaps: Dev Gets Naked!

Excuse me while I take a moment.  

How many times have I said the producers of Smash need to maximize Raza Jaffrey's skin time?  Finally, they took my notes seriously and got him undressed.  

The episode opens with sunlight streaming in a hotel window, bathing Dev's taught skin as he slowly awakens.  He rolls over, nudges me and realizes that he's in bed with Ivy!  He knows that Ivy is a thousand times more exciting than Karen and begins a hot romance with her.  OK, that didn't happen but it would have if I wrote for this show.  Actually, he's freaked out that he screwed another girl and he and Ivy immediately vow not to tell anyone else what happened.  They're acting like they know each other, otherwise why be so nervous about anyone finding out?  A cell phone rings, OMG they have identical Blackberries and Dev almost picks up Ivy's!  The call is coming from Karen's phone!  Ivy realizes the mix-up at the last minute and answers the phone.  It's not Karen, it's somebody named Jessica borrowing Karen's phone in an overly-complicated bit.  People are always borrowing each other's phones and making calls at dramatic moments on this show.

Apparently, Karen calling on Ivy's phone doesn't tip Dev off that he's doing someone he shoudln't.  

Now that Dev's gotten naked, do you really care what else happened?  Well, OK, here goes.  Julia, the wasted Brian d'Arcy James as her cuckold husband Frank, and their sullen son arrive in Boston for previews.  Who should show up at the hotel at that exact moment but leading man Michael.  Frank is a real pussy to take this humiliation from Julia.  I wouldn't. Bitch would be on her own in Boston.  I speak from experience.  

It's the first preview performance and the theater is packed.  Rough Trade arrives unexpectedly and Eileen takes him to her box.  I mean her box in the theater, people.  Get your minds out of the gutter.

The show's on and there's a number with all the chorus boys in towels dancing with Darryl Zanuck.  This is my new favorite number. Watch Sam the straight acting Gay get smacked with a towel:

This is from the show, not my dreams.

Another new number features Ivy and Karen taking turns trying to seduce Mr. Zanuck.  Once again, Karen is no competition for Ivy.  She's a bombshell, to coin a phrase.

An on-stage death hasn't bombed this badly since Carrie and her mom.  

The first preview performance ends with a totally depressing scene of Marilyn dying on stage.  The audience sits in stunned silence at the steaming pile before them.  Applause is muted at best.

Dev comes to the theater and Karen is surprised because he said he was going back to New York.  He got delayed by Ivy's charms, but he doesn't tell her this.  Naturally, Ivy happens by and Karen innocently introduces Ivy to Dev even though his man scent still lingers on her body.  Ivy and Dev are shocked because they really didn't know each other last night in the hotel.  But why were they so intent on not telling anyone about their tryst if they didn't know each other?  I'm confused but it's not the first time I've been confused by this show, so I keep moving.

Angelica Houston sings!  She doesn't have a great voice, but she makes up for it with tons of style, depth, and sex appeal.  She's so in love with Rough Trade!  Can't blame her.  He's just about perfect.  So what's going to happen to ruin it?

Karen says to Dev "Let's get married!"  He stammers something about leaving the ring in New York.  Actually, he left it in Ivy's room.  Oops.

Dev meets Ivy outside the hotel and tells her he left the ring in her room.  She agrees to look for it.  Later, in a bar, she shakes her head at Dev to indicate she didn't find it.  I think she found it and will whip it out at a dramatic moment next week.

Somebody put peanuts in Movie Star Rebecca's smoothie!  OMG!  I didn't see that one coming when Rebecca mentioned her peanut allergy like 50 times two weeks ago.  She's rushed to the hospital.  Totally cute Tony Nominee Sean Dugan tells Eileen that it was intentional.  The plot thickens.

Will Movie Star Rebecca be OK?  What if she's not??? Karen's the understudy but she doesn't know the show!  Then why is she the understudy?  Wait, Ivy knows the show!  Drama!

Julia is totally freaked that Leading Man Michael is back in the show and she has a big, dramatic break-up with Tom.  She blames Tom for all of this even though she's the one who whored around.

Let's all go to church for a big gospel number!  Sam the straight acting gay invites Tom to church with him and suddenly the whole gang comes along.  The African-American preacher chews on the pews, delivering a barn-burner of a sermon and the white people over-react to show the black people how down they are with this whole religion thing.  Then, Sam and Karen sing a song with the gospel choir.  Let's just say gospel is not Katharine McPhee's thing, K?  Julia is so moved by the Holy Spirit that she makes up with Tom.

Rebecca is going to be OK, but she tells Karen that she's not going back to the show because she's scared shitless.  Karen tells her that she has to and Rebecca says "I so don't have to."  I guess she has one of those flexible contracts that allows her to walk out on the show on a moment's notice just like the no-name actor who played Joe DiMaggio who suddenly walked out last week because he got a pilot.

Who's going to play Marilyn?  Karen or Ivy!?!?  Tune in next week for the season finale.

Rebecca performing the role of Marilyn for the first and last time. 

This week's episode was called Previews, but it should have been called Dev Gets Naked.