Oscar Fashion Roundup!

Here are my thoughts on this year's Oscar red carpet fashion.  I'll start with my favs and move on to my not-so-favs.

Best Dressed

Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji

Octavia has looked fabulous at every event but she saved the best for last.  This gown is not only flattering on plus-size gals, but all-size gals.  Beautiful.

Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli

Some fashion queens screamed that Emma wore Nicole's dress from 2007!  Charlize also wore a shoulder-bow in black when she was nominated for North Country.  Actually, all three dresses were quite different and with Emma's bold personality, she made this her own.  Emma Stone is a modern day Jean Arthur or Carole Lombard; the gorgeous girl who's funny and smart.     

 Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford

A vision of simple elegance.  Tom Ford is a paragon of good taste, and for once so is Gwyneth.  

Janet McTeer in David Meister

If you're a handsome woman nominated for playing a woman passing for a man, it behooves you to wear something feminine.  This scarlet gown was elegant and lovely.  She struck just the right note.  

 Jessica Chastain in Alexander McQueen

A bold statement dress with smashing results.  

 Stacy Keibler in Marchesa

Shown here with her best accessory, Stacy was the envy of the red carpet.  

On the Fence

Viola Davis in Vera Wang

I love the green, I love the hair, I love the makeup, I love the jewelry.  I just can't reconcile the bust line.  It seems sloppy and borderline vulgar.

Worst Dressed

Glenn Close in Zac Posen

When you're a handsome woman nominated for playing a woman passing as a man, it behooves you to wear something feminine, but that doesn't mean a fabric explosion out of your butt.

Rooney Mara in Givenchy

Her bony sternum is not her best feature.  Also, what's up with the boob flaps?  

Kristen Wiig in J. Mendel

"Hey, you know what would really make that flesh-tone pop?  Scab-tone fingernail polish!" 

Melissa McCarthy in Marina Rinaldi 

Ugly color, unfortunately ruched boobs, bad hair.  She should have hired Octavia Spencer's stylist.  Or Amber Riley's.  Or whoever used to dress Jennifer Hudson.

Shailene Woodley in Valentino

Shaliene's on her way to the paralegal's ball.    

Davy Jones: 1945-2012

Davy Jones has died of a heart attack at the age of 66 at his home in Florida.  He is survived by his wife Jessica and four daughters.  He was the lead singer of The Monkees and my first crush.  My big sister had all his albums and the back cover of Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn, and Jones, Ltd. featured a picture of a shirtless Davy in love beads playng the guitar.  I can't tell you how many hours I spent staring at that picture.  His early death makes me very sad.            

  

Romney Wins Michigan and Arizona

Mitt managed to pull out a victory over Santorum in Michigan last night.  It was close, but a loss would have been devastating to his campaign.  Mitt won Michigan solidly in 2008 and he claims it as one of his half-dozen home states.  Romney's victory in Arizona was much easier.  There was a push to get Democrats to vote for Santorum in the open Michigan primary, and Santorum himself encouraged this.  The thinking among the Dems was Obama could wipe the floor with Santorum in November whereas Mitt would be a tougher fight.  This may be true, but I think that strategy is too risky.  A sharp downturn in the economy this summer or fall could put the GOP nominee in the White House, whoever he is.  Just imagine a President Santorum.  I would be much more comfortable with Mitt as the nominee.  He wouldn't be a complete disaster as president.

One interesting note from last night's contests is Santorum, who has all but proclaimed himself a Catholic saint, lost among Catholics in both states.  Maybe all that "JFK makes me barf" business wasn't such a wise move.  

It's Darren Criss and Kermit the Frog!

My absolute favorite moment of Oscar Sunday:

Happy Birthday Lazy Circles New York Bureau Chief Doug!

Doug has a birthday portrait taken every year.  He's holding up well, don't you think?

Doug informs me that he is turning 40 today which shocks me because he doesn't look a day over 27.  It also shocks me because he graduated from college two years before I did and I'm 51.  Obviously, he was a gifted child.

How do you stay so young and fresh, Doug?  Specialized facials?  Healthy living?  Please share your secrets of eternal youth.

Oscar, Oscar! Who Will Win?

Billy Crystal's back and Oscar's got him.  Hey, I like Billy Crystal and I thought he did a good job last night.  This morning's press was full of Billy hate, like this Daily Beast bitch fest featuring Ramin -Sean Hayes Can't Play Straight- Setoodah and a couple of gal pals competing with each other to trash the show and be the coolest.  I don't pretend to be cool, but Billy made me laugh out loud several times.  I bet Brett Ratner and Eddie Murphy wouldn't have done that.  Besides, a cool Oscar show is like a cool Miss America pageant.  It's an oxymoron.  Just accept it and enjoy the show.  Speaking of which, I did just that and jotted down my random thoughts in real time:

The show is on!  It's Morgan Freeman on "The Magic of the Movies."  I guess that's the theme of tonight's show.  Who could have predicted that theme?

Billy Crystal begins with his montage, inserting himself into the nominated films.  He's done this a bunch, but I would have been disappointed if he'd left it out.  Also, I would have slipped Clooney the tongue.

Also, I wouldn't have done a random Sammy Davis, Jr. in Midnight in Paris.

Next, it's Billy's signature musical tribute to all nine Best Picture nominees.  "Hanks is a memory."  Best line.  Subtle.

Speak of the devil, Mr. Hanks is the first presenter.  His new grey goatee kinda makes him look like a Vegas used car salesman.  Tom Jones worked the white facial hair much better.  Hanks is here to present cinematography!  What?  The show's not beginning with Best Supporting Something?  Way to hook the audience.  Nobody's going to flip channels when the cinematography award hangs in the balance.  It goes to Hugo.  First award and my Oscar poll is already blown.  Art Direction also goes to Hugo.  Is there going to be a Hugo sweep?  The winning Art Director:  "Thees ees for Marteen ahnd Etalee."

Random movie clips.  Must be a tribute to "The Magic of the Movies."


Various stars are talking about their first movie experiences.  Reese Witherspoon's favorite movie is Overboard.  This feels like something that will go on all night (editor's note:  it did).

Cameron Diaz and JLo.  Both are looking good in skin tight dresses.  Wait, is that a half-nip JLo is sporting?  Cameron:  "Edith Head said a dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman...."
Jennifer:  "And loose enough to prove you're a lady."  JLo said this with visible aureole.

Costume went to The Artist.

For make-up, JLo and Cameron turn their butts to the audience.  Nothing but class.  Meryl Streep's long-time make-up artist wins for The Iron Lady.  Deserved.

It's Christopher Guest's troupe of brilliantly funny actors are doing a Wizard of Oz focus group.  I love every one of them.  That's who should host the Oscars next year.  All of them.

Sandy Bullock looks good.  I know a lot of fashionistas put her on worst dressed lists, but I appreciate that her dress is loose enough to prove she's a lady.  She awards Foreign Language Film to A Separation from Iran.  No surprise.  The handsome Iranian director or producer or whatever reads a long speech on peace or something.  The camera goes to Spielberg who's all "you gotta be kidding me with this shit."  But only with his eyes.

Xian Bale comes out to (finally) present Best Supporting Actress.  I know he has a reputation as an asshole but damn he looks good.  The winner is Octavia!!!  Standing O!  She's clearly overcome, so much so that she actually thanks the State of Alabama.  Tears, joy, and a really great dress.

It's Tina Fey and Bradley Cooper.  Obviously, peplums are in, and Bradley has the figure for them.  They award Film Editing to the guys from The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.  Clearly, this is an upset.  I'm sure they were expecting Thelma Schoonmaker to win for Hugo.  They have no idea what to say, but one guy saves it by saying "let's get outta here." I wish all acceptance speeches were like that.  Tina and Bradley award Sound Mixing to Hugo.  Back on track for a Hugo almost-sweep.

It's the flying Cary Grants of Cirque du Soleil.  Hey, they had the harnesses already installed in the Kodak Theater, so why not?  Why is it that Cirque du Soleil has been flying dancers around theaters for years without dropping them while Spiderman spent a gazillion dollars for the same technology and dropped actors  nightly?

Why is it that the Oscars can feature the Flying Cary Grants but they can't find time for the two nominated songs or the honorary Oscar recipients to get a proper tribute?

Gwynneth, looking the best she has in years, comes out with the ever annoying Robert Downey, Jr.  They're doing some labored bit about filming a live documentary.  It's clearly not working and they keep at it longer than a dying SNL skit.  It doesn't work partly because RDJ is a douchebag and partly because Gwynnie has no comic timing.  Mainly the latter.  Documentary Feature goes to The Undefeated.  The director or producer or whatever is bleeped and played off.  They even turned off the mikes.  I wonder what he said?

Chris Rock livens things up briefly.  "Then they pay you a million dollars."  Not a bad line. Animated feature goes to Rango.

Funny bit with Melissa McCarthy, Billy Crystal, and Melissa's legs.

Why on Earth is Ben Stiller a star?  I've never gotten that.  Emma Stone is funny and I really love her dress.  Again, many fashionistas panned it, but I loved it. Anyway, Visual Effects goes to Hugo.  Damn, is Hugo going to win Best Picture?

Melissa Leo manages to look dowdy in sequins.  She announcing Best Supporting Actor.  The camera is on Nick Nolte and my friend says "Is that Joe Cocker?"  The award goes to Christopher Plummer.  No surprise, but certainly deserved.  "You're only 2 years older than me, darling.  Where have you been all my life?"  Nice.  Class.

Penelope Cruz and Dallas' own Owen Wilson are here to present something to The Artist.  Seriously, I spaced out for a minute and missed it.  Who wants more champagne?  Should I open the third bottle?

Does anybody else notice how bad the sound is?  We had better sound in my high school play in 1978.

I really don't like Will Farrell but Zach Galifinakis saves the cymbal bit.  Best Song goes to the Flight of the Conchords guy for Man or Muppet. I loved that guy on Fresh Air.  Jason Segal should have been allowed to sing it.   Naked.

Score goes to The Artist.  Take that Kim Novak!

Angelina is striking a strangely awkward pose.  Is it the camera angle that makes her look deranged?  Wow, she really should have worn sleeves to hide those twig arms.  She announces Adapted Screenplay to The Descendants.  One of the guys (Dean Pelton?) strikes the Angie pose!  We never see her reaction.  Is she pissed?  Is she too hungry to notice?

Original Screenplay goes to Woody Allen.  What do you mean he's not there?

A stunning Mila Jovovich was this year's hot babe giving statuettes to nerds at the technical awards.

The Bridesmaids are doing dick jokes.  What the hell, we've already seen JLo's nipple, what's the big deal with some "girth" and "length" bits?  Live Action Short goes to The Shore.  Animated Short to something about Flying Boots.  I must have missed it when it came to the Angelika Dallas.

Scorsese!  Drink!

Michael Douglas looks great.  Best Director goes to Michel HazMatBeetlejuice for The Artist.  No surprise.

Meryl Streep, a vision in liquid gold, announces the previously-awarded honorary Oscars to James Earl Jones, Oprah Winfrey, who got the Hersholt Humanitarian Award, and makeup artist Dick Smith.  The three honorees are standing in a box while everyone stands and applauds like they're zoo animals in a habitat with good lighting.

It's the death reel.  Esparanza Spalding sings What a Wonderful World.  She has a lovely voice.  I believe the Oscars got it right for the first time in a while.  Sigh, Elizabeth Taylor.  Our champion.

Natalie Portman in Kinleyesque polka dots presents Best Actor to Demian Bichir in an upset!!!   Psyche.  It went to Jean Dujardin.  I love him.  No really, I love him.  He ends his speech with a sort of Gallic Cuba Gooding, Jr. bit. Formidable!

Colin Firth presents Best Actress to.........Meryl Streep!  It's an upset, that is if you can call Meryl Streep winning an acting award an upset.  OK, Rooney Mara would have been an upset, but I thought Viola was going to win as did a lot of folks.  Meryl's speech is witty and smart as always.  She could teach a master class in acceptance speechifying.

Best Picture is being presented by Miss Tom Cruise who has the face of a 30 year old.  Seriously, Suri wants to borrow his face cream.  Best Picture is The Artist!  It's the only BP nominee filmed entirely in LA!  Who knew?

That's it, everybody!  Good night from the [your name here] Theater!



  




    

The Iron Lady's Triumph

For 29 years, people have been wondering what role will be worthy of Meryl Streep's 3rd Oscar.  Would it be Iron Weed?  Too depressing.  Music of the Heart?  Too lightweight.  A Cry in the Dark?  Too camp.  Finally, we know.  Last night, she won Best Actress for a great performance in a good film:  The Iron Lady.  It was somewhat of an upset as many people predicted Viola Davis would win for The Help.  Otherwise, the major categories went as expected.  Christopher Plummer won Best Supporting Actor for his leading role in Beginners.  A tearful Octavia Spencer won Best Supporting Actress for The Help.  Gorgeous Jean Dujardin won Best Actor for The Artist, which also won for Direction and Best Picture.  Perhaps it was a mild upset when Hugo almost swept the technical categories.  I will have more extensive Oscar posts up a bit later.  Now, I have to drag myself to work after staying up too late.  

Dallas Blonde

On Saturday, some friends invited Wes and me to join them for drinks at Dallas' newish Ritz Carlton Hotel.  It was our first time going there.  We arrived early, found a seat in the bar and ordered drinks when a classic Dallas Blonde walked in.  This gal had NOTICE ME written all over her and who wouldn't?  She was a woman of a certain age with a tight white dress hugging a truly magnificent rack that must have cost her oil-man husband a fortune.  Between the bosom and the sky-high Louboutin heels, it was truly a triumph of the will that she was able to stay upright.  She went straight to the bar and had just ordered a bottle of champagne when a hotel bellman came dashing in with her white fur coat that she had carelessly left elsewhere.  She thanked him and told him to wait while she picked up her $1,000.00 evening bag, pulled out a $5.00....and asked for change.  Not making it up.    

Faces of Defeat

Check out this amazing montage of Oscar loosing moments.  The immediate reaction of the loosers is priceless!

Out Dallas Judge Won't Perform Marriages Until Marriage Equality Achieved

Dallas County Judge Tonya Parker of the 116th Civil District Court told a meeting of the Stonewall Democrats that she does not perform marriages because "they can't be performed for me."  Judge Parker was elected last  year and never tried to hide the fact that she's a lesbian.  She's the first gay judge elected in Dallas County.

Texas judges have the authority to perform marriages but it is not a job requirement.  Some perform them and some don't,  and she has opted not to.  When I first saw this article, I thought of those town clerks in New York who have refused to issue marriage licenses to gay couples and wondered if Judge Parker was doing the right thing, however good her intentions. The distinction is that town clerks issue marriage licenses as a core job function while Dallas County judges are not required to perform marriages.  It's optional and discretionary.  Judge Parker happens to have a powerful reason for opting not to.  As Dallas Morning News columnist Jacquielynn Floyd said,

"So, no, she’s not abandoning her duty — she’s making a point. Maybe, like a lot of people, she’s tempted to keep quiet but feels that she can’t afford to.  Because every time it seems that paranoid bigotry against gay people has become an embarrassing social anachronism, somebody revives it for cynical political advantage."

Smash Box

I finally got around to watching this week's episode of Smash and I have one question.  When did people start humping on prime time network TV?  Has this been going on for a while and I've missed it?  Last week's episode featured the sexy director Derek Wills (played by sexy Jack Davenport) humping the about-to-be-cast Marilyn, Ivy Lynn (Megan Hilty) like a piston.  This week's episode opened with Ivy straddling Derek and bucking like Debra Winger in Urban Cowboy.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to sexuality on screen and if Jack Davenport wants to appear naked in every episode, I would completely support his artistic choices.  In fact, if Jack Davenport and Raza Jeffrey suddenly decided they were bi and wanted to have a hot hump session, I would not object in the slightest.

Of course, the sheets magically cover all nipples and cracks, but that's the only thing that distinguishes the Smash sex scenes from Sex and the City (except for SJP's scenes where she kept her bra on throughout all sexual activity. Big was apparently not into boobs).

Of course, Ivy Lynn will eventually loose the part to Kathrine McPhee's Karen Cartwright (has there ever been a more American name?  They might have well named her Baseball Chevrolet).  Ivy can't be allowed to screw the director and keep her starring role.  Don't blame me, I don't make the rules of soap opera.  Her adorable best gay dancer friend Dennis (super-cute Phillip Spaeth) had a first date with songwriter Tom (Ex Mr. Sutton Foster Christian Borle) and just happened to mention that Ivy and Derek were doing it in the dressing room of Heaven and Earth.  Broadway veteran Tom is shocked,shocked, shocked and has already told Julia (Debra Messing).  Ivy's fall is in the works.    

Will Dennis and Tom have a hot hump session or do only the straights get action on Broadway?    

Angelica Houston is a master of hurling Manhattans into men's faces, but she's done it  3 or 4 times now.  We get it.  Joke's over.

There's a hot new star who's been cast as Joe DiMaggio opposite Marilyn and, typical of musical theater, he's a straight, married father who lives in a spacious Manhattan apartment that's bigger than my house.  All these straight theater types must marry rich girls.  

Finally, I really don't buy cute assistant Ellis (Jaime Cepero) as a straight.  I have no idea of Jaime is gay or straight in real life, but come on, Ellis is an assistant to a Broadway songwriter.  In this episode, he had an incredibly awkward bedroom scene with his hot girlfriend and I really wanted to laugh.  Maybe it was his clingy black tank top barely covering his perfect, zero body fat, gym-toned body that made me think this guy ain't into the ladies.  

That's it.  It's Friday night!  Time to get Smashed.

Equality in Maryland!

The great state of Maryland got closer to recognizing the the value of all its citizens yesterday when the Senate passed a marriage equality bill.  The House passed the bill last week.  Now, it goes to the desk of Gov. Martin O'Malley who has championed equality and will certainly sign it.  

DOMA Ruled Unconstitutional Again

The Walking Dead law that is the so-called Defense of Marriage Act has been ruled unconstitutional in part by a George W. Bush-appointed Federal District Judge in San Francisco.  He ruled in the case of Karen Golinski, a law clerk for a Federal Judge who sued after being denied benefits for her wife, that section 3 of the act could not pass muster under either heightened scrutiny or the rational basis test.  Section 3 prevents the Federal government from recognizing legal same sex marriages.  A quote from the decision:

"The imposition of subjective moral beliefs of a majority upon a minority cannot provide a justification for the legislation. The obligation of the Court is 'to define the liberty of all, not to mandate our own moral code,'"

Quite significantly, this ruling granted summary judgment to Ms. Golinski.  In other words, there will be no trial because there is no possible way for a trial to end in any other result.  It means that the pro-DOMA House Republicans had absolutely no case and could not prevail under any circumstances.  Read about it at Politico.  

A Conservative Talk Radio Host Walks Into a Gay Bar....

You may have read about Houston conservative talk radio host Michael Berry who allegedly hit a car and left the scene of the accident after allegedly attending a drag show at a gay bar.  Well, I can drop that second "allegedly" because he has admitted on his show that he was at TC's Show Bar.  Here's the quote from his radio show:

"I went into a bar.  There were gay people inside.  You know why I went in to a bar?  Let me confess.  Because there was cold beer waiting inside.  Is that a crime?  The fact that I'm not afraid of the fact that some of the people inside may be gay makes it a bad thing?  Would it have been better if I was at a strip club, or a Hooters?  Well if it would then maybe you should now know, I don't hate gays.  I don't fear gays.  I don't need to bash gays."

That's right folks, the only reason he went to a gay bar was because they had cold beer!  Everybody knows how hard it is to find cold beer in Houston.  Why, if you go to any sports bar or hotel bar or whatever bar, the'll likely serve you warm beer because they still rely on blocks of ice brought in by wagon train.  Only those clever gays have discovered refrigeration.  I'm sure there's absolutely nothing else to this story.

It's Andrew Sullivan's Romney Blog Caption Contest!

Play Along!

What a keen idea! What picture will Andrew choose next?  I hope it's this one from Craig Romney's travel blog:

How would you caption it?

Obviously, it's Steal from Andrew Sullivan Day at Lazy Circles.

Sheriff Babeu Update: Babeu Speaks

Sheriff Paul Babeu was interviewed by Wolf Blitzer and was asked about his position on marriage equality.  His response wasn't the most coherent I've ever heard, but he seems to believe it's an issue best left to the states.



Of course, none of this would have happened if Babeu had been out of the closet.  I am reminded of Sheriff Valdez of Dallas County, TX who is serving her second term.  She has been out as a lesbian the entire time and it hasn't been an issue, even here in Texas.  Of course, Sheriff Valdez is a Democrat.

Sheriff Babeu Update: "Jose" Speaks

Both Sheriff Paul Babeu and his ex-boyfriend who calls himself "Jose" have both spoken to CNN.  Jose says that he is not an undocumented alien, but is in the US legally on a 10-year US tourist visa.  He stands by his allegation that Babeu's lawyer threatened to deport him if he didn't sign a confidentiality agreement.

Chris Colfer is Struck by Lightning

Glee's Chris Colfer is starring in the movie that he wrote, Struck by Lightning, about an unpopular kid who blackmails the popular kids to write for his literary magazine so he can get into a great university.  I think that's it, anyway; plus he drives a really cool car.  I hope it's a hit and launches Chris into a hot movie career.  It also stars Modern Family's Sarah Hyland, Christina Hendricks, Allison Janney, Dermot Mulroney, and even Polly Bergen. Here's the trailer:

Christmas at Downton

Oh dear, whatever shall we do with our Sunday evenings now that Downton Abbey is over for the season?  Thank goodness the Oscars are next Sunday, to ease the transition. 

In the words of LC NY Bureau Chief Doug, the episode was quite satisfying.  Everything was tied up with no loose ends.  Lady Mary and Mathew (one "t" as Doug reminded me) are finally betrothed in a scene that was so romantic I practically swooned. 

I'm a bit disappointed that we won't get to see The Adventures of Lady Mary and Anna in New York in season 3, but we already know that Miss Shirley MacLaine will appear as Grandmama from America.  I can not WAIT to see Aurora Greenway and the Dowager Countess in a highly refined bitch-off.

Speaking of The Dowager Countess, it seemed that Julian Fellowes was trying to give her as many lines as possible.  He wanted to give us enough Lady Violet to hold us until Season 3.  Thank you Julian!

While playing charades:

Lady Violet:  "Sir Richard, life is a game in which the player must appear ridiculous."
Sir Richard:  "Not my life."
Cora:            "Sir Richard, your turn."
Lady Violet:  "It seems your maxim will be tested."

and later

Sir Richard:  "I'm afraid we shan't meet again."
Lady Violet:  "Do you promise?"

Only Dame Maggie could do justice to these lines.

So, what do we have to look forward to next season?  The birth of Lady Sybil's child with the hot chauffeur and the inevitable visit when Lord Grantham will have to treat the former servant as a member of the family.

Lady Edith's budding romance with Sir Anthony, lame arm and all.  The Dowager Countess is not thrilled, but Lady Edith is determined not to spend the rest of her life arranging presents for her prettier sisters.   

The wedding of Lady Mary and Mathew Crawley!  It should be a gala affair.  We've been robbed of weddings at Downton before, so a wedding episode is overdue.  Certainly, this will be the finale of Season 3.  Of course, there will be bumps in the road to create dramatic tension, but true love will prevail.

The Turkish diplomat scandal.  This should provide some delicious moments for several episodes, but Lady Mary will persevere. 

The increasingly tedious trials and tribulations of Bates.  Hopefully, he'll get a quick appeal, return to Downton a free man, and continue his chemistry-free marriage to Anna. 

Thomas as valet.  I can't to see what he schemes he and O'Brien cook up.

The coming out of Daisy.  What sort of trouble will she get into as she asserts herself with Mrs. Patmore?  Will she try to become a "sou chef" in London?

What about a romance between Mrs. Patmore and William's father?  Wouldn't that be perfect?  Mrs. Patmore is Daisy's mother figure and William's father is Daisy's father figure.  You heard it here first, folks.

What are you looking forward to in Season 3?

Fetus Uber Alles

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Rick Santorum must be on President Obama's secret payroll. There's no other explanation.  The latest news has to do with his focus on the fetus.  Santorum has long opposed abortion in all circumstances, including rape, incest, and to save the life of the mother.  A few months ago, he came out against birth control, even by married couples.  He believes that states can and should ban contraception and has pledged to use the power of a Santorum presidency to end this evil practice.  Now, Santorum has come out against prenatal testing.  Let that one sink in a bit.  Rick Santorum believes that women should not know if their babies will be born with certain abnormalities and birth defects.  He doesn't believe that federal insurance mandates should include prenatal testing, particularly  amniocentesis which can detect chromsomal abnormalities such as Down Syndrome.  He believes that the "customary procedure" of prenatal testing is to "encourage abortions." 

Rick Santorum apparently believes that women cannot be trusted with knowledge about the health of their babies.  In Santorum's world, if a woman discovers that her child will be born with a serious birth defect, she'll abort it on a whim, then hit the boutiques without a care in the world.  In Santorum's world, if birth control is not banned in all circunstances,  women might have sex for pleasure and who knows where that may lead!  In Santorum's world, women's health exceptions to abortion restrictions are "phony" and used as an excuse by women who view abortion as a form of birth control.  "Hurry up, doc, I'm having my nails done at 3." 

If Santorum gets the nomination, President Obama wins in a landslide.   

In other Santorum news, he has said that President Obama's religion is "some phony ideal, some phony theology — oh, not a theology based on the Bible, a different theology."  Apparently, Santorum is the gatekeeper to Heaven. 

Oh yeah, one more thing - in 2008 he said that Protestants aren't real Christians.  Catholics are the only real Christians.  Here's the actual quote from a speech he gave at a Catholic university:  “We look at the shape of mainline protestantism in this country and it is in shambles, it is gone from the world of Christianity as I see it.”  That should really help him with all those Protestant evangelicals whose votes he covets.

Rick Santorum must be on President Obama's payroll.  There's no other explanation.      

Monday's Man: Hugh Bonneville

In honor of the final episode of Downton Abbey, Season 2, I present Lord Grantham himself, Hugh Bonneville.

 LC NY Bureau Chief asked me who would I rather do, Bates or Lord Grantham.  I said His Lordship, without a doubt. 

 I totally get the appeal of Bates, but Lord Grantham has a certain forceful manliness that Bates seems to lack.  I, for one, am a big fan of forceful manliness, aren't you?

 Here he is in modern drag, looking ever so handsome, as the English might say.

 With short hair....

or full scruff, Hugh Bonneville is a decidely handsome man. 

Round 'em Up and Send 'em Back....Except the Cute Ones

I'm sure you've read about Pinal County, Arizona Sheriff Paul Babeu and his gay scandal.  Babeu is a Republican who is running for a newly-created Arizona congressional seat.  He's also a hard-liner on immigration and the Arizona co-chair of Mitt Romney's campaign.  You might remember him from this McCain ad in 2008:


He also recently spoke at CPAC on the dangers of illegal immigration:


One little detail he had never revealed to Republican voters was the fact that he is gay and was allegedly in a long-term relationship with an allegedly undocumented immigrant from Mexico named Jose.  That's Jose above, with Sheriff Babeu's hand stroking his hard, muscular, undocumented chest.  They make a hot couple.  According to the Phoenix New Times, Babeu's lawyer threatened Jose with deportation after he refused to sign an agreement promising never to speak of the years-long relationship.  Babeu denies this.

Babeu apparently has no record as an anti-gay politician, although gay issues don't come up much in a Sheriff's race.  No one can say how he would have voted on gay issues if he had been elected to Congress without being outed as gay, although as a right-wing Republican, it's hard to imagine him being a strong voice for equality.  The problem for Babeu, of course, is the hypocritical contrast between his hard line on illegal immigration and his (alleged) hard-ons with one hot immigrant.

This is allegedly a pic from Babeu's Adam4Adam profile.  The tattoo's a bit dated, but built and bald is a hot combination.

After all this hit, Babeu called a press conference at which he came out as gay and admitted to a relationship "of a personal nature" with Jose.  He denied that his lawyer threatened Jose with deportation and he said it was "almost a relief" that his orientation was out in the open.  Here it is:
   

One final note.  Dan Savage posted this tweet from the Babeu for Congress campaign manager.  I will post it without comment:

Is Santorum on Obama's Payroll?

It's the only answer  I can come up with because who else is doing more to help re-elect President Obama than Rick Santorum?  Case in point, check out what he said while campaigning in Michigan regarding the auto industry bailout:
"Santorum said that he was consistently against all government bailouts, and blamed President Bush for 'setting the precedence' for government intervention in the economy beginning with Bear Stearns.  'I actually blame president Bush more than I do President Obama," Santorum said, "President Obama was only following suit.'"

Let's deconstruct this a bit, shall we?  First of all, the GM and Chrysler bailouts saved the US auto industry and are very popular in Michigan.  GM has recently posted record profits and Chrysler has become profitable again as well.  When Santorum and Romney travel the state blabbing about how awful and socialistic it all was, they seem to be saying that we'd all be better off if the auto industry in Michigan was completely dead and many, many more Michiganders were out of work, hopeless and despairing. Santorum wants people to know that, had he been president in 2008, that's exactly what would have happened.  See what I mean about secretly being on Obama's payroll?  He is working hard to convince Michigan voters to vote Obama in the fall.  And they will. 

The other interesting tid bit was Santorum's mention of President G.W. Bush.  If you've been watching the thousand or so GOP debates, you know that Bush has completely ignored by his own party.  It's like he never existed and the country went straight from President Saint Reagan through Clinton directly to Obama.  So, it's surprising to hear Santorum mentioning him, and in a way that blames him for the dreaded socialist bailouts and kind of lets Obama off the hook.  Obama-as-socialist has been a Republican mantra but Santorum is saying that it's really Bush's fault and Obama's not so bad.  When President Obama is re-elected in the fall, he will owe Rick Santorum a debt of gratitude.     

"I Think It's Time To Move Back"

Towleroad posted this clip of an anti-equality rally in New Hampshire because of an angry lesbian giving it back to the haters.  She was bold and strong, but what caught my ear was the hate monger at 1.20 who actually said "I think it's time to move back."  Nobody could have summed up the anti-gay movement better:

Introducing the Obama 2012 Bumper Sticker!

Are you as underwhelmed as I am?  This is what a Bank of America ad would look like if Bank of America fired its ad agency.   

Marriage Bills Advance in MD, NJ

A marriage equality bill in Maryland advanced to the floor of the House yesterday after simple majority votes by the Judiciary and Health & Government Operations committees.  There was a surprise yes vote from Republican Robert Costa who is the first Republican to support the bill.  It is unclear if there are enough votes in the House to pass.

In NJ, the Senate passed a marriage equality bill and it is expected to pass the House tomorrow.  Gov. Christie has vowed to veto it calling it "political theater."  However, under NJ law, the legislature has 2 years to override the veto. 

BAFTA BLASTA

I decided not to watch the Grammys since the only category I might possibly be interested in was Best Broadway Cast Recording and I didn't want to sit through three hours of girlfriend-beater Chris Brown and AIDS deniers Foo Fighters to see it.  Congrats, Adele.  Instead, I watched the BAFTAs and, as usual, here are my random thoughts scribbled down in real time between bites of Veal Short Rib Pizza and sips of Sophia.

The show starts with 30 minutes of red carpet and it really ought to be called the blue carpet because this is London in February and those celebs must be freezing their balls off.

Speaking of balls (as in chicks with), Christina Hendricks is out there in a strapless black number that makes her look like the St. Pauli Girl in mourning.  And not in a good way.  Do her boobs really have to be shoved right up under her chin at every opportunity? 

Everybody else looked OK, especially Jean Dujardin who will be my next husband.  Don't tell my current husband.

The "Orange British Academy Film Awards" show starts with "Sir Tom Jones" and a tribute to "50 Years of James Bond."  His voice is powerful and he hits the high notes with ease.  Sir Tom has a cotton-top and a white beard, but otherwise he looks exactly the same as he did on Ed Sullivan 45 years ago.  I'm tempted to throw my panties at him.

Why is this show "Orange?"

And now, your host for the evening, Mr. Stephen Fry.  I've been a big fan since he played Oscar Wilde.  He's one of our people, you know.  Actually, both of them are.

"Brad, be a lovely darling and blow us a kiss.  A nation's hearts flutter, or is it just mine?"  This is why I love Stephen Fry.  Brad is game and looking good.  That kiss was meant for me.

I kinda feel like the show's been on for an hour and they're just getting to the first award.  It's presented by - get ready for a blast from the past - Cuba Gooding, Jr.  I keep waiting for some explanation for why they picked Cuba to be the first presenter, like does he have a movie out or something?  No explanation presents itself.  Don't get me wrong, I like Cuba well enough, it just seems like a strangely random choice.  Anyhoo, he presents special visual effects to the latest Harry Potter epic.  This is a big departure from the US awards shows which always start out with supporting actor or actress.  The Brits don't have to start out with a bang, a wimper is just fine with them, thank you very much.  Besides, special effects guys are so much more interesting than some glamorous Hollywood actress, don't you think? 

"Spank me twice if we haven't gotten to Production Design."  Forget Jean Dujardin, I think Stephen Fry should be my next husband.  The presenter is Viola Davis in hot pink...again.  I forgot who won.  Probably Harry Potter.  Let's just go with that.

"The pulsating and riveting" Helena Bonham Carter.  She's there to present Best Supporting Actor to Christopher Plummer.  He's not there.  He's probably in LA campaigning for the Oscar.  I think they should give it to the runner-up, but that's not how they play it.

"Outstanding British Film" goes to Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy, which obviously strikes a chord with the home-town audience.

"We've presented the yin of supporting actor, we must now present the yang of supporting actress."  The presenter is Daniel Radcliffe who I just want to tuck into my pocket.  Actually, I want him to talk about those 3-ways with groupies that have been all over the gossip rags lately, but I doubt that'll come up.

They actually showed the Melissa McCarthy poop clip.  That probably won't be her Oscar clip.  The winner is Octavia!  She looks fabulous, as usual, in a mannish, crisp white blouse and a glam ruffled long black skirt.  She has looked amazing at every appearance this entire awards season.

"Jeremy Irving and Christina Ricci" present screenplay.  Ricci seems like another random pick.  I guess she's big in Britain.  The award goes to The Artist.

I don't care what Stephen Fry says, Billy Bob Thornton is not "almost mythical," unless he was referring to his career for the last 5 or so years.  Let's see, we've seen Cuba, Christina Ricci, and now Billy Bob as presenters.  This show is like a Vanity Fair Hollywood Edition cover from 1997.  Billy Bob presents some sort of lifetime achievement award to John Hurt who truly deserves it.  What an actor.   

Wednesday's Child Adam Deacon

"The Orange Wednesday's Rising Star Award" (I swear that's what they call it) goes to Adam Deacon who I've never heard of before.  He's got a certain rough trade sex appeal. 

Paul Bettany steps off that '97 Vanity Fair cover and presents best documentary.  It goes to Senna.

Death reel.  Time for a refill.

Jon Hamm looking delicious comes out and seems really nervous.  I think it's just an act.  He made a fart joke.  Leave it to the American to keep it classy.  Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy wins a screenplay award.   "I'd like to thank The Artist for not being adapted from a book." 

It's Brad Pitt presenting Best Director.  It's Michel HazMat-a-juice for The Artist.

Best Actress will be presented by "the Colin they call Firth."  Colin comes out looking fine and calls the category one in which "I've been grievously overlooked."  Love him. Meryl Streep wins and is so shocked that she looses her shoe.  Colin recovers it with aplomb.

 
Speaking of Maggie Thatcher, Meryl says "The fate of the well-known is to be misunderstood."  She's a smart gal, that Meryl.

Penelope Cruz in some sort of awkward boob-flap gown presents Best Actor to gorgeous Jean Dujardin.  Drool.

Max Von Sydow comes out to present another lifetime achievement award.  This is the second of the night.  I'm now beginning to understand why the Academy Awards moved honorary Oscars to another night.  This one goes to Martin Scorsese who I'm pretty sure has collected a lifetime achievement award from every awards show including the Kids Choice Awards.  How many lifetimes does he have?  Is he a cat?

Jackman and friend.

Hugh Jackman comes out looking so hot in a beard that I practically wet myself.  Oh yeah, Russell Crowe is with him.  Best Picture goes to The Artist!

Good night everybody!